Adoption is now an option we are actively pursuing. The first thing that sticks out when I look online is God’s role in adoption. Even in IVF, there is a lot of God talk, but the difference is that you pay your money, and no one cares about your religious affiliation or beliefs. Heck, they don’t even inspect your home or do a background check. In adoption, the birth parents may rule you out on the basis of your religion or lack thereof. Or even the adoption agency.
Our plan was to talk to our local counseling and adoption resource. It felt good that we had an option in-state when we have been traveling out of state for infertility and my husband’s medical treatments. We started to talk to our family and friends about this. It turns out while not overtly religious; they are partially funded by the Catholic church. They have turned away two same sex couples that we know about based solely on their sexual orientation. A counselor friend that applied to work there said she would have had to sign an agreement not to discuss the option of abortion with pregnant women seeking counsel. We cannot in good conscience support this.
We are now back looking for an agency and are confronted with a sea of “national Christian adoption” and “low-cost adoption agency.” Even those with no mention of religion in their name (like my hometown agency), I wonder what their core values are.
My husband thinks being an atheist will help since we are unique in a sea of God believers, and perhaps someone is looking for an atheist for their baby. I wonder if people will shy away from us because, for some reason, atheists are viewed as immoral people. Online, the suggestions range from skirting the truth (we were raised Catholic [which we were not but for an example]), to flat out lying (sure, I’m a Christian), to downplaying it (we are agnostic which is less threatening than atheists).
Just adopt people had said. I wish it were that simple.