Nothing Shameful to See Here


Last year’s Christmas photo was hubby and I dressed in Hawaiin gear standing in the snow with our dogs also in Hawaiian shirts and the ducks/geese sans Hawaiin shirts. We went to Hawaii with his family for Christmas in 2015.

This year, I had to top that photo and my husband’s hand surgery in December presented me the perfect photo opportunity. This year’s Christmas letter included our two rounds of IVF plus our photo sentiments about 2016 (there is also a Bah Humbug version of the photo for those that Fuck is too much).

My mother cringed at me including IVF and the words “uterine polyps” in the letter. I asked why with her response that people don’t talk about medical ailments. Really? I have 34 years of Christmas letters written by my mom talking about my brother’s meningitis, my dad’s broken foot, and my dad’s plus my knee surgery. What she meant to say is that people don’t talk about reproductive medicine.

Infertility happens. I know, it is happening to me. It is not what I wanted, but it is what I got. Now I’m going to talk about it until it is no longer taboo, no one ever feels alone when dealing with infertility, and insurance companies step up to cover the expense. I may be talking for awhile. There is nothing shameful about infertility. There is nothing shameful about miscarriages. There is nothing shameful about menstrual cycles or uterine polyps or fibroids or vaginas or labia or breasts. It is all a normal part of life.

On that note, Fuck 2016 and onward to a beautiful 2017! Or at least a better 2017 than 2016!






17 thoughts on “Nothing Shameful to See Here

  1. Haha girl I still have that photo on my fridge as it makes me laugh every time I see it! Isn’t it interesting how the old folks will talk a blue streak about their health problems (when my dad was alive he could talk for hours about his hernia and blood pressure and blah blah blah…) but this stuff we’re dealing with is shameful “woman stuff” that shouldn’t be broached. Fuck that shit. I’m with you sista!


    1. I’m mastering talking about IVF and infertility like it is high blood pressure and a hernia. You know, just run of the mill medical stuff. They pause, they stutter but in the end, it gets easier for me and for them to talk about. 🙂 My plot to take over the world! Muhahahaha!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve just found your blog and I’m so happy I did. Hats off to you for your brutal honesty and amazing way with words!! I hope 2017 gives you everything you hope for 🙂


    1. It is different than some medical ailments because it affects your very identity as a person. My knee surgery – no biggie and not a lot of mental anguish. A lot of lifelong conditions will have the same effect. Research has come out showing that infertility diagnosis results in the same amount of emotional distress as a cancer diagnosis. Infertility can also lead to isolation and depression. The more we talk about it, the more we can manage the emotional turmoil of it all. Talking about it has helped me come to terms with it and feel less isolated.


    1. The worst part is we have to top that photo next Christmas!

      I think it is a mixture of courage, rage, and not carrying anymore. 🙂 I blurted out to a co-worker today that joked that I was pregnant that it wasn’t funny because I’ve been doing fertility treatments for 2 years. That shut him the fuck up.

      Liked by 1 person

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