What was I thinking?
I ask that a lot. Such as tonight as I sit in my office at work at 7 p.m. on a Saturday night turning in my online homework since our zippy Huges Net satellite internet at home is not fast enough to deal with online courses. What was I thinking when I thought taking two online accounting classes was a brilliant idea? I have a B.S. and an M.S. I do not need these classes. I’m already over-committed in life. What was I thinking?
As I pause homework for some mind-mush, I turn to Facebook. What was I thinking? Right off the bat, another fucking baby announcement. Good for you. Since you got married two months ago, it seems that it took you a month to get knocked up. The day before, a birth announcement from someone with four kids already. At the rate I’m unfollowing people, I’ll have no one left in my Facebook feed in a few months. I need to cut that cord and walk away from Facebook. All it is a reminder of what comes so easy for everyone else but us.
What was I thinking when I was overly polite last night when someone was telling me how I should build my family? I need to become better at simply saying, “I don’t want to discuss this with you. Ever.”
I’d think I would have learned by now. Classes are only fun for the first two weeks then I always regret taking them. Facebook is and always will be for me the place where I can view everyone’s perfect life and wonder why the fuck did I get dealt this hand. And unless I tell people I don’t want their opinions or advice on how to build my family, they will continue to give it. I wonder if I’ll ever learn or I’ll continue walking through life going doh.
My money is on perpetual doh.